ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
