fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
