Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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