I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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