Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We're too hungover to prance.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
