I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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