I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
