I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
