So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
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