You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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