The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
