i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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