Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
my liver is dry heaving
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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