508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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