ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
