I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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