How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
