***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
