Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
the condom got lost in my hair
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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