If i come over, it means nothing
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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