we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my sisters under your porch take her home
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
