***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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