I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
