watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
