Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
