i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
