Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
