my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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