So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
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