nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
