He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
