My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
