This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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