Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
