I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
