Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
