How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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