please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
