But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize