is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
