I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
