Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
