i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
