He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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