Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
