you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize