This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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