i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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