Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
