I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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