if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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