Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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