she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
