She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
