in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
