butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
