Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
