I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
they're like a gay fantastic four
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize