ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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