whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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