she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
