I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
