He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
