If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
