Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
